After the Star Wars prequel trilogy, it became very apparent that George Lucas is a monster, a soulless man who will no stop until everything good ang right in the world is utterly destroyed and all that is left is a CGI robot doing wacky slapstick hijinx on the mass grave of creativity, art, and common sense. George Lucas, much like his character, Emperor Palpatine, is beyond redemption and must be thrown down a deep shaft into a reactor core for the good of the galaxy. As proven here in an excellently critical and comedic review, The Phantom Menace is one of the worst things ever created by a human.
But on Rotten Tomatoes, a review aggregation site, TPM receives a score of 62%, or in their terms, "Fresh". Fresh? FRESH? The Phantom Menace is a travesty, a travesty that will never go away. A mass murderer can kill a million people, but eventually the population will replace itself. It's terrible, but it can be undone with time. The Phantom Menace will never go away. It will stay in existence, possibly, for as long as the human race. The Phantom Menace will outlive everyone you know. And it is a vile, plotless, dull, absurd movie with characters flatter than Saskatchewan. If it is possible for the majority of reviewers to give the Phantom Menace a good review, there must be something terribly, monstrously wrong with Movie Reviewing.
And it gets worse. Attack of the Clones got 66% fresh, and Revenge of the Sith got 80% fresh. EIGHTY. EVERYTHING THAT WAS GOOD HAS DIED.
Picture taken from Star Wars Episode III.
No comments:
Post a Comment