Tuesday, March 16, 2010

Editing for the Web, Aden Cruz



Online article from the Edmonton Journal.
Re-edited using online editing techniques:

No new snowmobile legislation: Stelmach
By Archie McLean, edmontonjournal.com


EDMONTON — The province has no plans to introduce new rules for backcountry snowmobilers after two Alberta men died last week at an event near Revelstoke.

No snowmobile legislation

Premier Ed Stelmach said the logistics of such regulations would be difficult.

“I don’t know how you would monitor and control all parts of Alberta,” Stelmach said Tuesday. “I
know B.C.’s solicitor general is going to have a look at it. But you know,
there’s this balance of common sense. How much of a risk do you take?”

Deaths

On Saturday, an avalanche tore down Boulder Mountain near Revelstoke during a loosely organized snowmobiling event. Shay Snortland and Kurtis Reynolds, both Albertans, died in the slide during the event, dubbed the Big Iron Shootout.
  • 2 people died
  • 30 people were injured
  • 200 people were in attendance

The deaths have triggered questions about the safety of big-mountain snowmobiling, since avalanche warnings urged people to stay away from those areas.

New B.C. Regulations

B.C. Solicitor General Kash Heed said Monday he will introduce new regulations this fall for snowmobiling in the backcountry.


How/Why this article works or doesn't work:

This article was properly edited for online as the paragraphs and sentences were kept short, they provided links to related stories and information, the headline was short and concise, and use of helpful images were employed.

The article however, did not use bullets and subheads. I have added these to the above edited version. I have also indented the paragraph containing quotes by the Premier to give it emphasis.

Related Links: Cyberjournalist.net - online editing tips

Note: Image Source - http://www.jacconline2.org/images/online_news.jpg

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