Edmontonians fear National Socialism to be on the rise in rural Alberta after Adolf Hitler was reincarnated in Mannville Tuesday.
Hitler, the Chancellor of Nazi Germany from 1933 to 1945 was brought back to life at approximately 3 p.m. Tuesday, proclaiming the formation of the Mannville Volkische Reich shortly after.
Many city dwellers are worried about the return of Hitler, since he killed 6 million Jews. Mannville residents; however, are confident in their fuehrer's leadership.
"I been to Edmonton once", said resident Chuck Madsen. "I seen one of them Asians there and he looked at my daughter impurely with his squinty eyes. Canada should be for Canadians."
Hitler, now speaking English, said that Canada's recent economic problems stemmed from immigrants coming from Asia, and that all Canadians of Asian descent should be put in camps. He also advocates the expansion of Mannville to include all Alberta, which he calls Alschluss.
To the people worried by the rise of clone-Hitler, there is some hope in the form of Mecha-Roosevelt 4000, created in Canmore. The hoverchair-bound battledroid has a shoulder-mounted 30mm machine gun, and claws that can rip a tank apart.
"The only thing Clone-Hitler has to fear is my robotic death grip itself." Roosevelt said.
Mecha-Roosevelt is expected to hover to be replaced by zombie-Truman by 2013.
Sublime, Historical Mannville!
The village of Manville was founded around the turn of the century, originally a hamlet of squatters. It was named after Sir Donald Mann, vice president of the Canadian Northern Railway.
A partial (1900-1908) history of Mannville
Mannville has over 400 buildings and a population of 782. According to a possible town motto, all trails lead to Mannville, such as Alberta Highway 16, and Alberta highway 881, the only highways which lead to Mannville.
Manville is part of Minburn County in East-Central Alberta. Much like the rest of Alberta, Mannville's time zone is Mountain Standard Time, or GMT-7. Other places in this timezone include the Mexican state of Chihuahua, and even Utah! Utah could be argued; however, to not be a real place.
A number of notable people come from Mannville, including and entirely limited to:
-3 NHL hockey players,
-the former mayor of London,
-a sociologist,
-an actress who had an appearance on Seinfeld one time.
Mannville is lightly defended, and likely to fall quickly in the event of an enemy attack. Its arsenal consists of one deactivated world-war II era 90mm anti-aircraft gun and civilian owned small arms.
It costs $25 to get a business license in Mannville. There are 42 licensed businesses in Mannville.
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